Yo Poznan!

Poznań, you’re not gonna believe this one. Forget diamond heists and Hollywood robberies — the hottest crime in town went down not in a bank or jewelry store, but in a bike shop. Yep, on Literacka Street, right here in Poznań, two slick thieves rolled out of Velo7 with a bicycle worth 80,000 PLN. That’s right. Eighty. Thousand. For two wheels and a saddle.

How did it happen?

Just before 6 PM, one guy casually pulled the bike off the wall, left it standing, and distracted the shop staff. Enter thief number two, who strolled in like he owned the place, grabbed the prize, and pedaled straight into infamy. All of it? Recorded on security cameras.

The shop didn’t sit around crying — they posted the footage straight onto social media, asking Poznań’s internet detectives to do their thing.

Their plea? “We’re counting on the power of the internet to track down the bike and the perpetrators today.” .

Who are the suspects?

According to the store’s post, the pair were smooth operators, and at least one of them is described as “of Eastern origin.” Whether that means Ukraine, Belarus, or Mars is anyone’s guess, but the photos are crystal clear. No balaclavas, no Mission Impossible masks — just faces out there for the world to see. Bold.

Wait… how much for a bike?!

If you’re scratching your head and muttering “80k for a bicycle?!”, don’t worry, we did the math for you. The model in question is a Pinarello Dogma F Disc Midnight Blue Dura Ace Di2 (try saying that five times fast). For context: seven of the last eleven Tours de France were won on a Pinarello Dogma.

So yeah, it’s not your grandpa’s rusty two-wheeler with a squeaky chain. This thing is basically the Ferrari of bikes. Only problem? Try riding it around Rataje without someone noticing you’ve got a Tour de France champion’s wheels.

Poznań Daily verdict:

Brazen, dumb, or both? We’ll let you decide. One thing’s for sure: this is a bike you can’t exactly flip at the Sunday flea market. Unless, of course, someone wants to trade it for a bag of pierogi and a second-hand scooter.

Keep your eyes peeled, Poznań — and if you spot a dude casually cruising down Garbary on an 80k rocket on wheels, you know what to do.