The deal
In a development that’s left the entire world scratching their heads, Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have reportedly held secret talks to hammer out an agreement to end the war in Ukraine. The deal? A controversial land swap that’s as baffling as it is bold. According to leaked details, the “peace plan” involves:
The Land Giveaway Deal
- America “gifts” Alaska back to Russia. In exchange, Russia will turn over the East Of Russia to a new “international neutral zone” governed by a Trump-Putin council.
- Ukraine agrees to lease Eastern Ukraine to Russia for 199 years
- Poland will open it’s borders with Belarus and allow 1 million illegals to enter Poland a year. Trump apparently promised Putin this would “keep everyone happy.”
- The “Greenland Gambit” – Remember when Trump wanted to buy Greenland? Well, this time, it’s part of the deal: Greenland will now be split between Russia and the U.S. as a “friendship zone.”
The Fallout
World leaders are reportedly stunned by the announcement. European leaders are calling it “a joke,” while Americans are divided over the return of Alaska to Russia. Trump, however, claims the deal is “a perfect deal, the best deal, maybe the best deal ever made,” while Putin is said to be “delighted” with the arrangement.
But before you get too worked up, let’s pump the brakes: this entire deal is fake. Gotcha!
